Saturday, September 18, 2010

BLESSED ARE THE Whackadoodles
>
>
>
> BLESSED ARE THE Whackadoodles!
> TWENTY-NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE
>
> 1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He
> thought he was God and I didn't.
> 2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of
> it.
> 3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill
> them.
> 4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
> 5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.]
> 6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
> 7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
> 8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
> 9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just
> missing.
> 10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes
> 11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy,
> why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
> 12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
> 13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
> 14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
> 15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again
> 16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under
> it!
> 17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When
> I Grew up.
> 18. Procrastinate Now!
19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With
> That?
> 20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
> 21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash
> advance.
> 22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
> 23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already
> taken.
> 24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
> 25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up
> three thousand times the memory.
> 26. Ham and eggs... A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime
> commitment for a pig. (how true)
> 27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
>
> 28. The original point and click interface was a Smith
> & Wesson.
> 29. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going
> on.
>
> Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your
> friends!
> Life is too short and friends are too few !

2 comments:

  1. Ozzie,

    Those are very very funny. I'll have to remember them - if I can.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Fun. Good Job, Ozzie.

    ReplyDelete